I'm still hopeful that the nerves are repairing themselves and that one day I will walk with a normal gait, but for now the power is turned off. I get flashes of hope from time to time when I feel sharp pains in my lower leg/foot. It feels like electrical impulses shooting down my leg and at times it can be really painful. I know the if the function comes back it's not going to be overnight but when I have these strange sensations I have to believe something good is happening.
It seems very hard for people to understand that I can't lift my foot as it is something that is very much taken for granted. I look down at my foot, fully understanding the simplistic motion required for the task, attempt to lift it and it only moves perhaps and inch and a half on a good day. Frustrating! The best analogy I have come up with to describe the frustration is this:
|Clothespin be dammed!|
2.) Pinch the pin to open the jaw (do this several times noticing how simple and effortless the motion is).
3. Now place the clothespin between your ring finger and pinkie, using the insides of your fingers pinch the pin to open the jaw.
What? You can't open the jaw? I don't understand...so simple.
Really, don't worry about me, I'll be fine. I'm not giving up. I'll never give up. I have decided that my motto for 2012 will be "keep hope alive." My neurosurgeon offered to prescribe an AFO that could help me walk but I didn't want it at the time and I was highly suspect that is was some stretchy fabric POS designed for 70-year-old men...not for me. I've done some of my own research and have learned that they make carbon fiber AFO's designed for athletes. That's what I'm after. Not because I think I'm some elite athlete but only because I want the same opportunities as the best. The problem has been finding a clinic nearby that will fit me, but my research is still in its infancy. Maria referred me to MSU Sports Med, but they declined to see me because I'm not a candidate for full recovery. I will travel out of state as needed but am hopeful that I won't need to.
I won't like running with some space age looking device and I'm sure a select few will think it is some sort of unfair advantage...but I really don't care and I'm not out to impress. I just want to run.